Thursday 13

Ok, let's see if I can make a list of 13 issue I had with Tim Burton's latest film, Alice in Wonderland. Why? Who knows, it just came to me.

1. It had a plot. IT HAD A PLOT! Anyone who's read Alice in Wonderland would know that the book doesn't have a plot. It's just Alice running around meeting people. This is actually something Tim Burton always hated about every other Alice adaptation. He should've done his research and known that that is what the book was like.

2. The Red Queen. Identity crisis alert! The Red Queen was a character from Through the Looking Glass and what Alice Found there. I don't mind that they used characters from both books, but was there really a point in calling the character the Red Queen when she was clearly, in every sense of the term, the Queen of Hearts? They are two completely different characters, with very little actually in common, aside from both being queens and being associated with the color red.

3. Johnny Depp. I honestly have nothing against Depp... aside from the fact that he is actually rather overrated. I don't think he deserves all the credit that many people give him. He's a good actor, I'll admit that. However, every character he does anymore are all the same. Was I watching the Mad Hatter or Willy Wonka? Sweeney Todd or Jack Sparrow?

4. The White Queen. In the book, she's much older and much more... how should I put this... spacier? She's definitely far more passive, as well, being somewhat submissive to the Red Queen. However, she also lives backwards in time (like Merlin), so I suppose her being younger since it has been so long since the books makes sense. However reasonable it may be, I'm still not taking it off my list.

5. The Jabberwocky. It looked good, and Christopher Lee's voice fit it very well. However, Jabberwocky was the name of a poem in the book. The creature was called the Jabberwock. Goddammit, Burton!

6. The vorpal sword. It didn't go snicker-snack! What's the reasoning for that, Burton?

7. There was no mentioning of any of Alice's cats!

Ok, clearly I'm splitting hairs at this point, so I'll switch topics for the remainder of the list, and list things that I did like about the film.

8. The Cheshire Cat. Wonderful character. Just the right amount of creepiness and humor mixed into him. The CGI on him was also very good, making him look all soft and cuddly. I want one!

9. The CGI. As I mentioned before, the CGI on the film was excellent.

10. The Bandersnatch. It didn't speak, but it had a character... to some extent. You could actually kinda care for him at one point.

11. The March Hare. Best character in the film... also probably the most underused. He was funny, clearly mad, a very interesting interpretation.

12. The slight nods to the books were nice, such as "Twinkle Twinkle little bat," the partial recitation of Jabberwocky (I like that poem), and even many of the little creatures you see running around all have basis in the book.

13. The actress playing Alice was cute.