Thursday 13

So, I figured I might as well keep up with my pattern of doing movie "reviews" for want of a better term, and list 13 things from the Director's Cut of Kingdom of Heaven that I either liked or disliked.

1. The beginning- I really liked all that they added here, made me realize how rushed the beginning of the theatrical cut felt.
2. Baldwin V- The child of Sibylla was totally cut from the original cut of the film. It adds to her character (but, ultimately, not the plot) but it was overall well done. I liked it.
3. Guy de Lusigna- extended his character out more, too. Also a nice addition.
4. A fitting conclusion- I never really felt that Saladin was the true villain or perhaps I should say the real antagonist of the film. He was there, was needed, and so forth, but the true conflict was really among the people of Jerusalem. Notably: King Baldwin IV and Balian against Guy de Lusigna. This conflict is finally settled satisfactorily in this extended cut.
5. Jeremy Irons- What can I say? I like the actor, and he's in this cut more.
6. You find out that Balian has been to war before, which makes sense as to why he's so good with a sword at the start of the film.
7. "I once fought for two days with an arrow in my testicle."
8. More is shown with Balian and his wife, making him seem far more in mourning for his recently deceased wife than he was in the original.
9. "God will understand, and if he doesn't then he isn't God and you need not worry."
10. When Guy kills a messenger with a knife he subsequently cuts off the man's head with his sword, explaining why, in the theatrical cut, he has his sword drawn and it has blood on it. That really kinda bothered me whenever I saw the theatrical cut.
11. "I shall confess to God when I see him."
12. It's much longer, which both works and does not work for it.
13. More Edward Norton, too. That's usually a plus.

Thursday 13

It's an old topic, but for this Thursday 13, I'm going to list 13 things about the recent remake Clash of the Titans. Most of them will be things that bothered me because I'm a nitpicker, know more than the average person about Greek Mythology and have loved the original since I was wee little lad.

1. Perseus' background. Did they really need to change this at all? What was the point? It really didn't add anything to it that they couldn't have had with the character's original background.

2. Acrisius. Again, same as above, except changing his background a bit actually detracted from the film because...

3. A siege on Olympus... a siege on Olympus!? what the Hell was he expecting to gain from laying siege to the fucking gods? This isn't Norse mythology, the gods can't die. At least, not from physical means, and trying to starve them out is pretty stupid, too. They don't need conventional means to move around.

4. Io. According to the movie, she was cursed with immortality after she refused the advances of a god. For one, I don't think a mortal could really refuse a god's advances, unless said mortal was hit with Eros' (aka Cupid) arrow, not the one that makes you fall in love, but the one that doesn't... Anyway, last I knew Zeus turned her into a cow to his his affair with her from his sister-wife Hera. That would've been an interesting conversation to hear: "No, honey, I wasn't being adulterous, I was just visiting this cow..."

5. No matter what issues I may have had with Io... she was pretty.

6. I got tired of Perseus complaining all the time about how he wasn't a god, he was a mortal and needed to do this as a mortal, etc.

7. Did they really need to have Perseus use a lightsaber?

8. The Craken wasn't created from a part of Hades... nor was it a creature from Greek Mythology to begin with.

9. I'm split on Medusa... the top half of her (the woman part) was kinda attractive... which doesn't fit with my idea of Medusa at all. However, her "turn you into stone" look would be similar to what I'd expect of her.

10. Since when was Pegasus black?

11. Since when was there an entire heard of Pegasuses (Pegasi?)?

12. They seemed like they were just name dropping at the beginning of the film, fitting as many references to mythology/the previous film as they could, which really bothered me at the time, but sort of tapered off.

13. Bubo's cameo was probably the best part of the film...